22 Apr Six Unhealthy Behaviours in a Relationship
So you’ve found that one person eh? And for some reason, you’re persuaded against all odds that they are the reason for your existence. You know what? I agree completely with you. No objections. So by all means, go ahead, fall in love, make all your statuses about them, post happy photos of you both and dream long of a happy future together. You have my eternal blessings for I have commended you into the hands of true love.
That being said, let’s come back to our little cottage where we can tell reality from facade. You’ll agree with me that when people are in love, they hardly notice the weaknesses of their partners (I know you’ll obviously be shaking your head and saying ‘oh! Not me at all’). Well, how lucky thou art. You have no idea. Romance can often make people blind or no let’s say refuse to accept certain red flags in their relationship. It is often difficult to understand and accept the fact that your heaven sent partner can possess some awful and perhaps dangerous qualities.
No one is perfect and so no relationship is. God forbid we demand perfection from anyone. So in the spirit of that, we will all acknowledge that there are mild relationship issues that can be resolved with the right amount of communication and respect. However, we also realize that there are issues that demand a walking away to preserve emotional and psychological well-being. There are certain behaviours that demand not just a walking away but a fleeing away. Below are six examples of such.
Emotional or Verbal Abuse
This tops the list for one of the sneakiest and annoying type of abuse because it’s mostly hidden under the auspices of ‘tough love or strictness’ so that one may suffer long without even realizing the abuse pattern. At first, it may be tolerable and excusable but little by little, you realize that you’re emotionally and psychologically sapped. You can’t fight back, and then you find yourself accepting the bullying as love. Some of those behaviours might include, but not limited to, demanding that you seek permission or report your every movement, stalking at regular intervals and constant use of abusive words and not to mention humiliating before family and friends. Did I forget unexplained temper? No I didn’t. That is another bad one, but be of good cheer my friends for these are top signs of emotional abuse and when you see these signs, ye shall know that the hour to flee is upon thee.
Okay this one is pretty obvious. A constant rainbow coloured eye and bruises here and there can bear no better evidence. If you have a physically abusive partner, you should gather the courage and leave immediately. Many times, these things are easier said than done but you must convince yourself that you’re better off alone than being another person’s personal practice ball to be kicked at will. Realize that there is better outside and you will walk towards the better. Should you decide to leave, you may need to apply certain safety precautions to make life easier for you.
You have no idea how increasingly popular this madness is, but you’d imagine that the reason why people choose their partner is because they are physically attracted to them and they check in all the right places, so I honestly will never understand why body shaming will become an issue. But since it is, we will address it alright and it will be a firm one. Now when your partner body shames you, the first thing that you must understand is that there’s a hidden inner insecurity that they are trying so much to hide and they imagine that by belittling you, it’ll somehow cure it. It’s a very manipulative and cheap way to exercise dominance over a person in the bid that it’ll make you feel unworthy of anything better and make you depend solely on them and see them as the only good that would ever pass you by. Not only is it immature but shameful as well. So once that begins to happen, it may be time to close that door.
Belittling your Dreams
No relationship can function rightly without support from your significant other. The beauty of every normal relationship is the support and strength you draw from each other and the inspiration given. Your partner should be your first fan. They may not necessarily agree with every decision you make but they must understand that your life’s choices are ultimately up to you to make and should be respected. A partner who makes you look stupid or clueless about your aspirations should certainly be investigated as to their suitability in your life. If your partner’s insecurity or controlling nature constantly causes them to mock your achievements or make you turn down reasonable opportunities, then it’s time for that discussion to happen.
Isolation from family and friends
Okay, this part is a bit tricky. When people get into relationships, it should be understood by all around them that priorities may shift at certain times, and it will be wisdom to do so for the health of the relationship but this should not be confused with a total cut-off from family and friends and especially if it is by the suggestion of your partner. A partner who attempts to disconnect you from your network certainly is a shady one. A healthy relationship aims to bring balance in our lives and not to introduce chaos or isolation. Relationships without positive interactions from others and unnecessary cut-offs from family and friends often crash eventually.
Lack of Respect for Personal Space
I know it may sound strange but believe me; everyone needs that personal space to survive, even those in happy relationships. Privacy is one of the top issues that most couples fight about. Taking time out for refreshing oneself is always a good thing to enable you give back positively to the relationship. It is important that you spend some time alone or just chill within your social circles and allow time to miss each other. Constant appearance in your partner’s face or being around 24/7 is a sure way to irritate and tire each other out in the long run. If your partner literally chokes the life out of you with constant calls, visits and such as those, then you badly need to have that talk. Please understand that you have to be emotionally and psychologically healthy to be able to bring that needed level of balance to another.