MeetAdaora | Why I Distrust Churchy People: The Entrepreneurs
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Why I Distrust Churchy People: The Entrepreneurs

Why I Distrust Churchy People: The Entrepreneurs

I don’t like churchy people. I mean it.

I am eternally suspicious of them. In fact, if I am about to have any serious dealings with a person and they call the name of God more than once? Then I am out. I will not deal.  It’s a no deal for me and you know why? Because calling the name of God a million times for a simple thing such as fixing my sink issues only gives me the impression that:

  1. You are incompetent.
  2. You are trying to gain my trust deceitfully because you are not trustworthy.
  3. You are about to make away with my service deposit and zoom off. NEVER to be found until you’ve been called a yazillion times and threatened.

More often than not, I have never been disappointed. I’ll admit that the trick nearly always works. I am naturally drawn to people who talk about God and their relationship with him. It gladdens my heart and I have learnt a lot from the random talks of good Christians I meet every day in my life. And that is okay.

One of the things I love about my country is that people are so religious. Extremely! Almost to annoying degrees. If you attempt to confront a person you intend to deal seriously with about your fears of being swindled or something like that, the next thing you will hear is: “Ah! madam no na. I cannot do that. I am a Christian. I no go chop your money. I am not like that at all”. They then go on to do some small exhortation and then tell you of their position in their various churches. Issokay! In the end, the mechanic, plumber, electrician or business partner who called the name of God twenty times in five minutes will become the very elect of Satan the moment he receives his service deposit. They will seriously ghost you. Pim! incommunicado! Just laikdat

The interesting part comes when you are finally through with the nonsense and decide to deal with the ”church fraudster”. That’s the next time they resurface and begin to remind you of the Christian roots you both share. Really? They proceed to address you as “My brother” or “My sister”. They call their pastors in church(poor pastors) and their entire village to beg you on their behalf in the name of God. This is ridiculous, right? You ain’t seen nothing yet. The amount of drama that will go into it will surprise you so much. These people come prepared. You will not win this.

After several meetings and scripture quoting by the church fraudster and the innocent, well-meaning Christians they managed to drag into it, it may be resolved that they either pay back your money in instalments (usually happens when you have lost faith and any shade of goodwill and finally  given the task to someone else after the endless wait. Plus money is hard to pay back once it’s been spent) or both of you continue your business as usual . My brother, My sister in the Lord, to keep your sanity, you either continue with the business as usual(which never ends well anyway because the good faith is already destroyed) or you forfeit the deposit and send them away with their demons(strongly recommended if you can help it).

But whatever you do, don’t be tempted to accept the deal of payment in instalments. You will not like the outcomes. It’ll become like the pension scheme in Nigeria. It’s either it never comes OR you receive the money spread over a period of 12 years(if you still care by then).

Basically, avoid the dramas of dealing with churchy businessmen. There will be no happy ending for all parties. There are countless stories of people who felt they could deal with those churchy people and “cover them with the love of God” etc. Do you know what happened in the end? They ended up having the last of their patience decimated. These were ordinarily good people. They ended up looking like the bad guys who could not “forebear their brothers and sisters in the Lord” and had their reputation messed up.

Bottom line: I will not deal. Mba. Anyone who mentions God for more times than we’ve talked about the job that they are being hired for is automatically disqualified or becomes a strong suspect. I am extra. Ask my mother. I literally count how many times God is mentioned. I think I’ve started influencing her too in this matter. She has become sceptical about dealing with churchy people too.

Share your thoughts. Have you ever dealt with a churchy workman?


Photo source: Unsplash

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