14 Aug You Are Where You Ought To Be
As we get older, we soon realize that every day is no longer fun day. Some days are better than the others, some days are quieter and some others move quite slowly. But all these surely add up to the realities of growing up isn’t it? Well, we all know those obvious parts but what about those odd feelings that just won’t go away, those feelings that plunge you deeper within yourself, deeper into the world of depression; those thoughts that have you questioning your worth and if you are where you ought to be in your life.
I have had many random discussions with strangers and even close family members and from talking about something completely casual, it sometimes leads us to the more sober discussions of self achievements and goals. Many of whom have confessed that they think they are not where they ought to be in life and they often struggle with the fear of underachievement.
Personally, I am wont to occupy myself with a lot of activities. I have this terrible fear of idleness and boredom. The thought of boredom and failure I would say have been the key driving force for me in achieving many of my goals. I have become so obsessed with the fear of failure (not a good thing) that I sometimes think it has prevented me from taking many good but dangerous chances. I often fear that if I don’t push myself to find something to do to stay busy I might go crazy so I keep inventing one thing after the other. In all of these, none of my many activities seemed to have prevented those sober moments where everywhere just seemed dark, stagnant and hopeless. Those were the times of my life where I couldn’t feel any progress. It was like I was covered in a sea of darkness. I felt so unproductive and underachieved and for someone who likes to see immediate results of my efforts, it was a difficult season. Interestingly, people around me seemed to be moving on well and ‘surpassing me’. To make matters even worse, God had left too! Nothing was more annoying. That added to my depression and I sank deeper. I’ll tell you one thing though: each time I reached this phase of my life, somehow by some miracle I would come across an interesting event that would bounce me out of my depression and so I would be happy again until the cycle repeated itself. All those times, I thought I understood God enough to a level, I thought I understood purpose; I thought I understood the basics of a relationship with God but I discovered I was wrong. I had to learn anew and this is what I finally understood: You are where you ought to be at each point in your life. When you understand this small principle then you’ll be able to face life differently especially if you have handed your life over to God. Once you have done what you responsibly should do and you find yourself going through that stagnant period, realize that that stagnancy is part of your timing. That stage is difficult because we worry so much about time and we compare our timing with the timing of others. So this is how it works: while others are busy seemingly moving faster in your own eyes, nothing has changed from your time. Their movement does not affect yours in any way. They are moving on a different script and so are you. God uses the pauses in your life to make you come to terms with his reality. So when he presses the pause button for you, it’s for you to be re-orientated as per your life’s path. It doesn’t at all mean that you are falling out of schedule or plan. You already have your pre-designed destiny. Everything is already recorded and designed by God (Psalm 139:16). Realize that everyone goes through this pause-play process. That’s also God’s way of making sure that we do not rush past his original design for us.
Just in case you think you struggle alone. You do not. Many other Godly people did. The psalmist was depressed when he had reached this stage of his life and expressed relief when God provided a way out for him. He describes the period as being stuck in miry clay. God at the end of this phase sets him on a platform where he could better understand the reason for the seeming delay (Psalm 40:2). Understand that God has a curriculum for you. As parents have structures for their kids on how their time should be spent to make them develop discipline and come out as well formed individuals, in the same way, God has laid out timing structures for you to produce the right attributes in order to prepare you for both your time on earth and eternity. For me, if there’s anything that keeps me encouraged in those times, it is the fact that I will learn something without even realizing. The things you learn in that period will all sum up to your life’s experiences that you’ll definitely need and use throughout your journey either for your benefit or for others.
Finally, you need to stop counting and measuring your life according to your made up timing or at worse someone else’s. It’ll also be refreshing in the end if you do not try to find a shortcut to this dark phase. Just know at all times that you’re where you should be per second and that your time is neither running faster or slowly. Your time is on time.